Writing a Dream

Richard’s Life Answers

Nicole Arbour and How She Won

Nicole Arbour.

Yeah, the woman who did the Dear Fat People video. Youtube removed it and people rejoiced. I think I am the only one not rejoicing. Sure, the things she said offended a lot of people. I get that. What I don’t think other people get is that by removing her video, Youtube essentially condoned censorship.

Yes, they really did.

I have seen some really nasty things on Youtube – very nasty things that I would not want any of my nephews or nieces watching. Yet, a fat shaming video is taken down. I am not agreeing with what Nicole said – not one bit. However, I still respect her right to say it.

Yes, I know Youtube has the final say in what videos stay and which ones go. It’s their business so it’s their decision. Still, we have to remember that good or bad, we still have the right to express our opinions. The past couple of decades we have been slowly censoring ourselves so we don’t offend anyone, yet people are still offended at almost anything they don’t agree with.

That is the world we live in.

You will meet people you don’t like and you will hear things said that will make you cringe. Instead of being offended by everything being said or done, we need to learn to turn the other cheek and simply walk away from the people that cause of grief. It is not our job to police everyone else and make then into who we want them to be. It is, however, our job to take care of ourselves. Sometimes the best way to do that is to pay the people who offend us no mind and just move on.

Some battles are worth fighting…like the war against ISIS and making sure children have enough to eat. We need to pick our battles much more carefully. I think the best thing we could have done when it comes to Nicole was to just look the other way and not react. The reaction she got was exactly what she wanted. Many people think they won this battle against her, but you didn’t. Her goal was to make you uncomfortable and angry and she did just that.

Yes, I know she recently lost a job on a movie over the video. But there will be plenty of other people out there that don’t care about the video, and they will hire her.

All the talk has won her a ton of attention. And, as they say, any publicity is good publicity. Be it from good things or bad, now millions more know who she is.

She won and we condoned censorship. Seems like the “good guys” lost this one and they haven’t even realized it.

Photo via Youtube

Photo via Youtube


The Gun Debate

 

Here is a Facebook response I posted to someone arguing about pro-gun legislation and about how the government is now trying to limit how and what guns are available.

 

“Most people are looking at this as sort of like the bible. Many people do not live by things written in a 2000 year old text. Sure, it has some moral lessons in it, but for the most part it is not followed today word for word. Not even close. (We don’t sell our daughters into slavery anymore) The same can be said about any government constitution. When it was written, they did not have the same problems that we do now. The world has changed. Back when this was written, they did not have fully automatic weapons or magazines that could hold a massive amount of ammunition. People are hating on the AR-15 lately. Pro gun people say it is not an assault rifle, yet I know a guy who can, with a few minor changes, make it fully automatic. Adjustments will always have to be made to things like laws because the world is always changing. Not too long ago, minorities were not allowed to sit in the front of the bus in many places in our country. That has changed. The same for women. With out the suffrage movement, women would still be without a voice in this country. Instead of holding steadfastly to an old rule, why not offer ways to improve it and adapt it to the world today? Many pro gunners reject the changes to the laws outright without offering any suggestions of their own, no original ideas. I am neither for or against guns. I think they serve a purpose so I am not arguing for or against any sort of ban. What I am saying is we need to have a real discussion or this will never be resolved. Until both parties are willing to sit and talk it out, this will go on pretty much forever. We get angry at our senators and congressmen when a budget doesn’t get passed, yet pro and anti gunners are doing the exact same thing with this issue…barking real loud, but not solving a thing.”

 

R. Allen

 

Johnson Automatic Rifle (in Center)

Johnson Automatic Rifle (in Center) (Photo credit: neepster)


Getting Rid of Small Balances on Gift Cards

I was doing a little research on gift cards. Over time, I have managed to accumulate a handful of Visa and American Express gift cards. One of the major downfalls of these cards is that, in some cases, you can never fully utilize the amount that was gifted to you. On several cards, I manged to leave small amounts on them; so small in fact that it would be rather embarrassing to use them for payment anywhere you might go. To solve this problem of too many gift cards and nowhere to spend the small amounts, I turned to my old friend Amazon.

I have purchased various goods from Amazon for many years now and I must say they have definitely earned my trust. They are very good when it comes to deals and if you ever need to return something, they are always helpful and courteous. They are also my store of choice whenever I buy music. Yes, I have an iPod, but the Apple iTunes store is often overpriced and I do not like the Apple format they use for music. I prefer MP3’s which Amazon sells. Regardless if you like Amazon for music like me or if you buy other stuff like eBooks, DVDs, etc. they are a good option if you have a handful of low value gift cards you are looking to get rid of.

So, how exactly does this work out? Amazon gift cards. I know what you are thinking. Trading in one gift card for another. It may seem that way, but it’s really not. For someone like me that buys from Amazon at least once a month, it’s a great option. All you have to do is go to the website and select gift cards. It will give you an option as to how you want to gift the funds. I chose email as all it would do is send me an email with a clickable link to add the funds to my Amazon account.

It took a little patience, but I was able to move over a decent amount of money to my Amazon account which will eventually get used up. The one issue I found was in using the VISA Vanilla gift cards. Amazon states you can gift as little as $.15, but when I tried to use the VISA Vanilla to gift myself the remaining $.75 on the card, it always cancelled my order. Bummer. The other card types used were the American Express gift card and a bank gift card that works as a debit card. The two AMEX cards I used were for the amounts of $1.75 and $1.70 and had no problems with those. The Bank debit gift card was a larger amount so no problem there either. It could just be that Amazon is not crazy about eating the charges that go along with processing the smaller amounts on some cards.

I know this isn’t the perfect plan for everyone, but it worked well for me. Now I have some credit that I can use next time I want a DVD or some music. Like I said, I really like Amazon so it works for me. If you have never used Amazon, give it a look. There are always good deals there and shipping in most cases is really small. Often times they have a deal where you get free shipping on orders over $25 which I almost always take advantage of.

Like I said, not a perfect solution, but a decent option; especially since I know a few of us got some of these gift cards over Christmas!

Cover of "Kindle Wireless Reading Device,...

Cover via Amazon


No Suicide Note

Sometimes we are abruptly reminded that when a person suffers from a mental illness, at any given moment, that illness can rear it’s ugly head and take over better judgment. I am glad that a certain someone was able to pull back from the edge recently and is still with us now. People will never seem to fully grasp how their harsh words can affect people, especially those who can tumble down that long, dark hole in the blink of an eye. I don’t know who this person was that came after my friend and attacked her, calling her an outcast and making her feel like she should crawl back under a rock and stay there forever, but I do hope they think twice about the way the speak to people.

My friend was so distraught that they just started taking various medications without even thinking. All they knew was they didn’t want to be awake. This wasn’t something she planned. It just sort of happened. This is how quickly a monstrous depression can eat you.

I find it disheartening that people still treat us as outcasts from society. All my friend was doing was trying to be social when she was told these harsh things. Anyone that has ever sought treatment for depression, anxiety, or even something more severe like schizophrenia when paired with the other two, knows that one of the biggest things your therapists wants you to do it NOT lock yourself inside your home. They encourage us to go out and be among other people. Even if you don’t speak to anyone, they just want you to try and live. We are given a light push back out our front doors. Sadly, this evil person sees us as tainted, inferior, mentally retarded.

We do not ask to be treated any differently. We really don’t. Yes, I know some of us are quite fragile, but we have been taught methods of coping with everyday situations and given medication to help calm our nerves. However, when confronted with major confrontation, as any other person might, we sometimes panic.

I am glad my friend is still with me today. She is one of the very few people in this world that truly understands me. I know I understand her. I wish I could say it was me that stopped her from going to far, but it wasn’t. I am just glad when she was somewhat cognizant, she was able to reach out to me.

I just hope others who share the view of us as a bane of society seriously consider their actions. Imagine if it were your mother or brother, your wife  or your best friend dealing with this. I doubt you’d take lightly to someone pushing them to the edge of death.


Everything

Anyone that knows me knows I’ve had my fair share of good and bad relationships. Unfortunately, most of them have been bad and to an extreme degree. I guess you could say that while I can’t call myself an expert on the subject because no one really can, I will say I’ve learned a few things through my failures. There is one thing in particular that I want to focus on though and there is a big reason for it.

I’m not going to name names for obvious reasons, but I was going about my day and noticed a little spat on one of the more popular social networks between a man I knew and his girlfriend. It was made public that he was in the dog house for various reasons. Not wanting to be outdone, the girlfriend felt the need to offer her side of the story in her own way; also on the social network.

Now, I know him a lot better than I know her. Regardless, I refuse to take sides because only the two of them know exactly what’s going on in their relationship. Having been through similar events, I know better than to buy anything that is spilled out onto something like a social network because usually you only get bits and pieces of the story. Still, people who see those things are more than willing to start taking sides and of course, people begin commenting which only escalates the matter, making things worse.

My advice on this matter is plain and simple: whenever you argue with your significant other, keep those arguments between the two of you regardless of what it’s about.

I know sometimes tempers can flare and things that we will later regret can be said, but when you start posting things on places like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Blogs, etc., you’re only asking for trouble. First off, it’s no one else’s business but yours and your significant others. I know some people may argue that with me, but that is 100% true. I don’t care who you are. The argument that you are having with them has NOTHING to do with your mother, your friends, your cousins, your co-workers. Perhaps it might be about them, but the fact is it ultimately has to be worked out between the two of you.

Spreading your business around to other parties will only create boundaries within a relationship which will eventually grow. Soon, they will become so big, you will not be able to get past them and others who know about the arguments between you and your spouse / boyfriend / girlfriend will begin to judge without even realizing it and it’s not their position to judge.

In a relationship I was previously in, my ex felt the need to tell her family, not just her mother, but her aunts as well, about virtually every argument we ever had. The sad thing about it was she made it out to them that all we ever did was fight which soon made them question why we were even together. There were good times in there. I must admit not as many as I would have liked, but there were some. Sadly though, when the relationship did finally end, according to her family, I was the devil incarnate because all they knew was I was the man who left her after putting her in jail. They never knew my side of the story. To this day they don’t. I learned the same thing on my end. Because of the trauma I suffered at her hands, I revealed some details to my family and now they have this idea that she is this completely evil woman. I don’t believe she’s an evil person at all. She just had some problems that she needed to resolve. In the end, we both knew we weren’t right for each other. Looking back at it all now, we both know that there are times when we need to keep certain things between the two of us. It’s simply no one else’s business and it never should be.

I guess what I am trying to say is think before you speak the next time you feel like venting to a friend or family member about your significant other. It’s ok to be upset with them. When you are with someone, it’s a given that you will eventually get into an argument here and there. I’ve found that the best thing to do is to not EVER cut off the lines of communication. The “Silent Treatment” doesn’t work. Trust me. I made that mistake. I was an idiot for trying it. It’s dumb and childish and it’s one of my biggest regrets. If you find yourself upset with your spouse, talk to them. If your spouse if upset with you, put the damn TV remote down and listen to them. Talking to them for 15 minutes is more important than a stupid football game. Sometimes just letting them vent to you can solve an argument. Sometimes they just want to feel that you are still on their side. Remember, you are supposed to be that one person that they can turn to for anything in the world. The moment they feel they can no longer talk to you is the beginning of the end, but take heart in knowing that it’s not too late.

I often think about how I would redo some of my failed relationships. There is one in particular. I guess you could say she was the one that got away. I know we shouldn’t regret certain things, but I regret losing her. I can make excuses for myself by saying I was young, I was only 19, etc., but that won’t make things better. Looking back, I know why I lost her. She accepted me for who I was and didn’t ask me to change a single thing about myself. My problem was I was so caught up in what other people thought and I was too busy talking to others that I neglected her feelings. Still, she stuck by me as long as she could till one day she couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t blame her. I really don’t. That girl is married now, living a good life and I’m happy for her. Still, that doesn’t take away my regret.

The next time you argue with your man or woman, look at them and think about what you are about to say or do, even if for just 2 seconds. Think about how they are going to react to your words and actions because although you may not think much about it, your very next words can and will stay with them for years after. Believe me. I still remember the last conversation I had with that girl and I will probably remember it the rest of my life. Remember, if you truly love them, you accept them for who they are. You love them for everything that they are. You love their light and you love their dark. As I’ve said before, you will argue. There is no way around it. There are certain things that should stay between the two of you. Just make sure when you look at them and you feel that anger, make sure you see everything. Remember why you are with them and remember and hope that they are thinking and feeling the same thing, and that they are still there with you not because they have to be, but because they want to be.

 


Balloon Attacks

A jar of honey with honey dipper

Image via Wikipedia

As you all know, I enjoy the reading of various blogs, regardless of how obscure the may seem. While reading the blog of an old women, dealing with being looked upon as a burden, I offered some sage like advice to her. I think it’s a great idea and many people may benefit from this. Enjoy.

There is a very easy solution to this issue…water balloon attacks. Only, instead of using just water, occasionally place other object in the balloons so when you tag that person who is making you feel like a burden, they get a nice little surprise as well. Start out with your typical water balloon and just wallop then full force with it. Imagine you are Nolan Ryan and you are going for a new record fastball speed. That first hit should do more than just drench them. Be sure to aim for a sensitive area. The face is always my first choice. After stinging them in the face with a bag full of vengeance, switch to other material to fill your balloon with. I personal like to go with raspberry jam. Why? Cause only one man dare to use the raspberry…LONE STAR! And being from Texas, I am partial to our hero. So you fill the balloon up with as much raspberry jam as possible and then fill the rest with other ingredients…spoiled meat can serve a purpose here.

So you do the same with this balloon as you did the rest. Go for the face! Once they catch a whiff of that horrendous odor, they won’t know whether to yak or pass out while yelling “Oh My God! I’m all sticky!” That will sure get them to think twice about messing with you. One additional balloon that I would prepare would be the honey balloon. I know, we are going another sticky substance, but stick with me, my story gets better. (Bah-zing!) So you fill this balloon with honey and even a little sugar just to up the sticky factor. I don’t know if you’ve even been covered in honey, but as fun as it would seem, it’s definitely not the most pleasant of situations, especially when I tell you about the next part of the plan. You are going to want to make sure they are outside for this part…after finding someone to tie their shoelaces together without their knowledge (Nephews, grandsons come in handy for this part, the younger, the better) chase them outside while beating them over the head with a nerf baseball bat until they trip and fall into your yard. Slowly approach them, tossing the honey-filled balloon up and down in your hand and giving them a menacing look. Once you are in range, pelt them as hard as possible with said balloon and watch their reaction. Covered in goo and drenched with water, they will surely have some sort of revenge plot already in the works…which is why we go for the “kill shot” here.

Being that Spring is cropping up throughout the United States, try and procure a freshly emblazoned bee’s nest, complete with living bees. Give it a good pop with the nerf baseball bat and toss it over to your fallen enemy. Covered in honey, the victim is sure to let out a blood curdling scream while the bees mercilessly sting him, causing him to run for cover and, not knowing exactly what to do, he will eventually be forced to jump into your neighbors swimming pool to attempt to escape the swarm of insects badgering him because he smells of honey. One warning though…when i attempted this on a friend of mine, you know, just to make sure it worked…we managed to attract the company of a local black bear who loved nothing more than to get at that sweet smell of honey. My friend tried the pool bit, but unfortunately, the bear was a very good swimmer and managed to track him down rather quickly. Don’t worry. It only took 122 stitches to get his arm reattached and now he is better than ever…and he never makes me feel like i am a burden anymore.


Life is Sweet

Been staying up a bit later than normal. Trying to figure out why. Could also be that I am doing other things rather than writing. I wouldn’t say it’s a distraction, but it has drawn my attention from my routine which is not all bad. Maybe it’s good that I am taking a step back from the book for a little bit so that I am not drowning in it, although I doubt I would.

I did manage to come up with a new idea. I had originally thought to retire the characters, seeing as how the ending could have been seen as a terrific and logical closure point. However, should the book take off, I have a feeling people will become attached to them and possibly want more. I am outlining the idea now and seeing where it takes me. The plot which I was thinking about for the last few days is pretty intense. The overall idea would have my main character stepping back into his past and exploring his decisions which ultimately led him to where he is today. It’s a somewhat introspective look, taking aim at the butterfly affect and making people think about making one decision over another. As most of us have thought about at least a few times in our lives, the character thinks about how different his life would be had he chosen one seemingly simple path over another. It would be something as small as choosing to go out with friends one night or something as pivotal a taking one major opportunity over another. He is eventually given the choice to relive his past and with that, facing the prospects of a very different future.

Given the chance, would any of us make different choices in our lives? I feel overwhelmingly the answer would be yes. However, I think given ample time to take all things into consideration, most of us may back away from that choice and ultimately choose to stay where we are today. We all have regrets, some of us more than others and for fewer still, regrets so painful we’d do just about anything to go back and relive our lives. I have had parent’s tell me that they’d want to go back and wait a few more years to have their kids or to have their children with a different person. Many don’t realize if that change is made, it could have dramatic affects on other things currently in their lives, some positive and some negative. I was speaking on the phone to a friend of mine and i posed a question to her. She has children and I told her if she was faced with the painful choice of saving one child over another, what child would she choose and based on that decision, could she then live the rest of her life with that choice? As I am sure you are already thinking, it’s a nearly impossible choice. To force a parent to choose one child over another is not only cruel, but for most, unfathomable. Sadly, there have been situations where a parent has been forced into making that choice. Obviously, this choice is usually made under an extreme amount of stress as saving the life of one person and damning that of another isn’t something any of us would ever wish on anyone else.

In this idea, I am posing that question and forcing someone to make a similar choice. For some, this idea may damage the character while for others it will show a very human side to them. I think ultimately it will show that while reliving life and making different decisions may seem like the greatest thing in the world, it may not always be a viable answer. As a way of thinking about it, pose these various questions to yourself. Would you have chosen a different person to be with or marry? Would you have chosen one job over another? Would you have chosen to take that road trip out of town knowing that tragedy was waiting for you around the corner, while at the same time knowing that if you did change that decision, you would never have met the person who is now most dear to you in your life? Again, I volunteer that these questions are impossible to answer for most of us. It all leads back to that heart-retching question…would you choose that other child’s life over the other if given that second chance? Would you choose to let someone else die if it meant saving the life of the other if you had a chance to relive that moment…

It’s one hell of an idea. Thought provoking and almost unimaginable…but I am going to explore it.

 


Death to The Macho Men

As it’s easy to see, I am a man. While I am not old, and I definitely not a kid anymore. I’ve pushed passed the 30 year mark and I am well on my way to 35 which is fine with me. I have found that while life sometimes throws you curve balls, I am enjoying the gaining of wisdom and the learning I am still doing at this age. I can look back at my teens and 20s and laugh, knowing I am a much wiser man now because of my stupidity. While I know it’s just a fact that a majority of men mature slightly slower than their female counterparts, I find it sad that something I see as so simple to understand is still dogging the minds of my fellow males. I am speaking about this ridiculous “Macho Man” attitude that sadly many of us were taught by our parents at a young age and has somehow morphed into a ravaging jealousy that can, at times, destroy relationships. Just in this past year, I can think of at least two times where I inadvertently caused marital strife simply by saying hello or talking to an old female friend of mine.

As it’s been said before on this blog, I spent a number of years in Austin, Texas, away from my hometown of Corpus Christi. For those who do not know, CC is a smaller city of maybe 300k people and is located along the southern coast of  Texas, right on the Gulf of Mexico. We have a high Hispanic population and that might have something to do with the problem I am seeing, at least in this part of the country.  When I returned home from Austin back in very late 2009, I was detached from society and I hadn’t spoken to several of my old friends for many years. Deciding to try and reconnect, I started up a Facebook page as many have done, and started looking for my old friends. Many of my old pals quickly found me and it was nice to see how they were doing all these years later. Many of them had of course married, had families, you know the regular stuff people do in their lives which I thought was all good and well. Being that CC is a smaller city, it wasn’t a surprise to me to see several of my friends had married people that I knew from high school or other social gatherings. Some of these spouses I knew and other I was perhaps an acquittance with. What it all came down to was that i felt like I knew these people and they, at least, knew who I was if they didn’t in fact know me personally.

So back to Facebook. I started talking to several old friends and they told me about their lives, showed me pictures of children, the whole 9 yards. So as any friend would do, I kept in touch with them, occasionally sending them messages and they of course would write me back. As many Facebook people know, you can add pictures to your profile and allow you friends to comment on them. Seeing that many people were doing this, I felt it was the nice thing to do and started adding rather benign, generic comments on various pictures such as a child’s birthday party of the pictures of the family vacation, just so they knew I had them in my thoughts. Everyone like to feel that others are thinking about them, right? You would think so, and most of my friends did. They were quite happy that I was taking an active interest in getting reacquainted with them and their new lives. All seemed fine…until that male macho spirit came out.

Example 1: Had a female friend, lets call her “Sara” and she and I are having a good time getting in touch with each other. I tell her that I have a couple of old pictures of her and she asks me to post them so I did. I mean she is my friend so what’s so wrong with posting old pictures that all of my buds can look at and reminisce about. Well, her husband wasn’t too keen on the fact that I owned pictures of his wife; as if he suddenly owned the copyright to ALL pictures of his wife. While I can understand if the pictures were of some sort of sexual nature or something that may have caused embarrassment, these pictures I assure you were just friends hanging out, having a good time, nothing you wouldn’t feel any shame about if your children came across them. As the night wore on, her husband ended up going completely insane with jealousy and threatened to leave her if I didn’t remove the pictures. I was completely dumbfounded by this. Not wanting to cause her any grief, I took the pictures down and offered a reasonable apology, saying that if I had know something as simple as a picture was going to cause problems, I would have never posted it. That wasn’t good enough for me. After I did the right thing and took the pictures down, he still felt the need to slander me and accuse me of strike various women years ago when I was still a teen. I found this atrocious and unbelievable that another man would feel so jealous that his only recourse was to make up stories just so he could feel better about himself. I ignored it and moved on.

Example 2: I have an old friend that I’ve known since middle school. He is a decent fellow, has a good career, married to my old friend who we will call “Della”. They have two children together and I am very happy that they are doing as well as they are. Same situation. I find them both on Facebook and Della is delighted to hear from me because, as I have mentioned, it’s been several years. She and I trade messages and I, of course, add my old friend, her husband, to my FB friends as well. I write him and he get…nothing. I figured he was busy and i give him a few days. Nothing. I write him another message and still no response. I am getting worried so I write his wife to make sure things are ok. Della, who is a strong will woman, tells me that she and her husband, my old childhood friend, had a fight over me. He was jealous that I was saying hello to his wife who, as I mentioned, was a childhood friend as well. In my message, I said the basic friendly stuff. “Great to hear from you, glad you are doing well, how are the children, etc etc”, nothing that any other person might simply ask or bring up in general conversation. Apparently, my old friend was deeply offended by this and proceeded to argue with his wife, repeated from what i heard, and then, as my last example, proceed to slander me, saying I used to cheat on my old girlfriends when I was in high school. Della, who has always been upfront and honest with me, told me all this, stating that was the reason he would not reply to my messages. He, for some reason, viewed me as a threat and therefore decided to try and take it out on his strong willed wife, which was a mistake on his part mind you as she put him in his place. She let me know about what was going on and told me that I should just leave it alone and that she would handle him. I offered to stop message her, but she said that it was his problem and if he didn’t like me talking to her, that was just tough. That message made me feel very good, knowing that my old friend was exactly as i remembered her; stalwart and unafraid because she knew if it came down to it, she could easily take care of herself and didn’t need a man to support her. Still not wanting to cause any problems in their marriage, I eased up on the message writing and simply let it be.

Sadly these are just two examples. I actually have over 7, but that would make this post remarkably long and I do not wish to take up so much time. The main point I wish to understand is why in the world would men, one of them my friend (or at least he used to be), display such jealousy? I simply didn’t understand it. If they took a step back and looked at things, they could see that their women were never in any jeopardy. I mean, they are your wives! They married you and had your children, and you seem to think that me, an old friend, is just suddenly going to swoop in and steal them from you. What kind of confidence are these men lacking that they feel the need to trash me publicly, even going so far as to threaten to leave their wives. What kind of macho crap can possibly cause a man to act so irrationally? I know there are many people who will offer their take on this situation, but once again let me assure you. Not a single comment, message, picture, nothing, was in anyway out of line. I am simply not that type of person and as you can see, when I noticed that my presence was causing problems, i took that as a cue and bowed out gracefully. Even after my exit, I was still catching flack from these men as they still felt the need to try and embarrass me in the very public Facebook realm.

Bottom line…men, I am saying this as a friend. Grow up. This is not high school and you are not impressing anyone with your puffy chested jealousy and you are certainly not helping your own case by arguing with your spouse over something as trivial as a message or a picture. You all may say I would react the same way. Well, I was married for almost 9 years and I can honestly say not one single time did I ever feel threatened by another man. Why you might ask? Because my wife chose to marry me and not them and I had the confidence to know that I could hold onto my wife without issue. Now you may be asking “well, why is she your ex wife then?” Simple. I refused to be the victim of her abuse and I left which is beside the point. Again, bottom line. It’s time for that Macho Man mentality to die and it’s time for you to be husbands who love and support your wives unconditionally, not just when it suits your needs. Have some confidence in yourself. If she ends up cheating on you, at least then you will know that you did all you could to hold on to her so in the end, you can still walk away with your head held high. If she leave you because you are a jealous moron, it’s your own fault.


“Can you say I love you to much towards your husband?”

my answer as given on answers.com:

yes.
as with most other things, too much of anything is bad. It’s kind of like saying I am sorry over and over for various things. After awhile, the word or phrase loses value, and eventually means nothing.

Women tend to complain that men do not say I love you enough. Take heart in knowing that when we say it, (hopefully) we really mean it. The same can be said on the flip side…if you tell a man you love him constantly, he doesn’t see it as reassurance, he sees it as nagging and will get sick of it. There is more than one way to say i love you…If its a husband or a boyfriend, maybe just being close to him, holding his hand, or giving him a tender kiss feels very much the same way. Although we may not admit it, we like that kind of assurance more than hearing the words.